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January 11, 2008

New Forum Up for Those with Relationships Affected by ADHD

Melissa Orlov and I are happy to announce that we have created a forum for conversations on the topic of how ADHD affects marriages.  Did you know that the divorce rate for people with ADHD is almost twice that of people without ADHD?  That these relationships don't need to be full of conflict?

Find out how to thrive in your relationship at our blog and new forum...just go to www.adhdmarriage.com - we welcome your questions and comments!

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Comments

Ann

Both myself and my son have been diagnosed with ADHD. My husband seems to be unwilling to learn anything about ADHD. He thinks doctors are too quick to diagnose people with ADHD (even though mine went undiagnosed for 35 years), and it is just another way for doctors and insurance companies to make money. HELP!

Patty Nielsen

Hello,


I have a question about flying airplanes and ADD. My son is deeply passionate about flying and at 14 has already logged 4 1/2 hours of instruction. When speaking to dr.'s they say that he cannot use ADD medication and must also undergo several psychiatric evaluations and must be off all medications for a specific amount of time in order to meet the requirements. The FAA has determined that ADD medication is not allowed if you want to hold the medical certification to get your pilots license. (The same thing goes for depression unless you use herbal remedies.) My son is determined to be a pilot and has stated that he wants to be off his medication by the age of 16. I am disheartened because the medication greatly enhances his ability to feel successful in school and in his life. Do you think it is worth it for him to have these goals? I would say yes, but I am concerned about his quality of life. My husband and I are willing to support him in anyway possible, but I’m wondering if you can point to any research which supports the use of medication when performing specific tasks like flying. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.

Sue

Dear Dr. Hallowell,
Are you related to the late Howard T. Hallowell Sr.
of Jenkintown, PA?
Thank you.
Sue

Richard

The divorce rate is 50%. So if teh ADD divorce rate is twice that, that means that 100% of ADD marriages end in divorce. I have ADD and am dating a lady with ADD. Are there any studies on the divorce rate when both spouses have ADD.

Kevin Gan

Hi Dr. Hallowell,

I am currently working my way through your book and was wondering if your own personal ADD has gone away and if you are currently on medication. I recently graduated from Harvard College and am planning to start a new job in New York in a few months. I feel like if I begin medication again, I am going to have to rely on it to get stuff done, which I don't like because it messes with my sleep, which in turn reinforces my inability to focus. But then I read your chapter on medication, and it made them seem so innocuous (even though it drastically affects my temperament). Which leads me to my aforementioned question-- do you currently still take medication? and if not, why not?

All the best,
Kevin

Sasha

Are you partnered with Mel Levine? Did you know of the abuse?

valerie

My 10 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with a mild case of AD and impulsivity...where do we start to get her help? We are on the west coast.

Cathy

My 61 yr old husband has been an addict in the past - first with perscription pain meds and then methanphetamine, which has caused some brain damage (he has suffered two breaks with reality - the first due to the drug abuse and the second cause by decreasing his meds). He's been clean/non-abusive for 10 years, although has had cause for pain meds when he's had major surgeries. As a result of the past drug use he's on various anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and anti-anxiety meds. He also has other medical issues (hi blood pressure, limited kidney function) that neccesitate other meds. All of these meds and/or the brain damage seem to cause him to be more and more disconnected from the world. I recently heard of SPECT imaging and clinics for working on this kind of thing, but they are nowhere near our home in Eastern Connecticut. Is there something your clinic can do to help us? If so, what and what are the right words I need to use with our GP to get the necessary referrals (we have an appt May 9 with him). thx, c

Cathy

My 61 yr old husband has been an addict in the past - first with perscription pain meds and then methanphetamine, which has caused some brain damage (he has suffered two breaks with reality - the first due to the drug abuse and the second cause by decreasing his meds). He's been clean/non-abusive for 10 years, although has had cause for pain meds when he's had major surgeries. As a result of the past drug use he's on various anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and anti-anxiety meds. He also has other medical issues (hi blood pressure, limited kidney function) that neccesitate other meds. All of these meds and/or the brain damage seem to cause him to be more and more disconnected from the world. I recently heard of SPECT imaging and clinics for working on this kind of thing, but they are nowhere near our home in Eastern Connecticut. Is there something your clinic can do to help us? If so, what and what are the right words I need to use with our GP to get the necessary referrals (we have an appt May 9 with him). thx, c

Abby Richmond

My son is 27 years old and was diagnosed when he was about 8 years old with ADD. We subsequently found out that he also is dyslexic. He has a seizure disorder that is controlled by medication. He will not take any meds for his ADD.
He is such a great person. He is talented witty and extremely intelligent. He can't seem to find what he wants to do with his life. He was accepted to Drexel, and the Rochester Institute of Technology after high school. He decided to attend a school in Florida which taught video game design. He lasted just during the intro course and then dropped out. He has taken a few other courses here and there. He took a course in blacksmithing which he enjoyed but he hasn't been able to translate it into a job. He would love to do a web comic along with his girlfriend but that hasn't gotten off the ground either. At the present time he doesn't have a job and is in a tremendous rut. I don't think he is doing anything. We really need help badly. Any suggestions?

janet young

My son was recently diagnosed with ADD. Graduating top in his high school class and one who always loved to learn, I thought he would soar in college. This could not have been further from what happened. He failed miserably. I couldn't believe this was him. Now that he was diagnosed, we have a cause and after reading your books on the subject, I certainly have a better sense of why and what happened. He is taking adderal and says it really helps with concentration. He is taking classes at night but I can tell that taking pills is not going to be the complete fix. He still passed assignments in late and was tardy to class. There always seems to be a good reason for what happens but why does there always seem like something goes wrong? He finished the classes with a B- and a B+. Those are fine grades but it is frustrating for me and him I am sure because if it wasn't for being tardy they would have been higher grades.I guess at least he is passing. I want him to return to an away college but not sure how to prepare him not to fail again. If he stays at home will he ever learn to live on his own? I am very worried about these things. Not sure how to let him be independent under my roof. I like the idea of a coach for him but I am afraid that the person will not advise him correctly. Would coming to the Hallowell Center be helpful to both of us?

elopez413

Our son has been diagnosed with ADD. We would appreciate advice for our situation. Thomas is now a junior in High School in a private, Catholic school. One thing that he really likes is football, but has had issues at school. In the last year, we told him that he must have a B average to continue to play football for the next year. Thomas was made aware and agreed that he had to maintain a B average. He has had issues of not turning in homework, falling asleep in class, and it resulted in getting bad grades, including flunking Algebra. We have constantly told him to write down his homework, which is posted on the chalkboard every day, on a planner, which he has. Math has been hard for him. His other classes he also had lower grades. For the full school year, he got 1 F (algebra), 3 Bs, 2 Cs, and 1 D. His grades would have been higher in all his classes, had he turned his homework in. He forgets to write the homework down, or does the homework and forgets to bring it to school. He is currently on 72 milligrams of concerta during school days. Thomas will either have to take Algebra in summer school or repeat the class during the senior year.

Now, my wife and I differ on how to deal with how to give consequences for Thomas. I believe that Thomas should not be allowed to play football since he did not even come close to a B average. We let him play spring training, because in the 3rd quarter, he had made huge improvements in his progress reports, before a tremendous dropoff in the 4th quarter. My wife believes that since football is the thing that he really feel positive about, he would have no incentive to do well in school next year. She believes that we set too high of a standard for him to meet, considering his ADD. I say that we already gave him the incentive to achieve good grades with football, and he did not use the time to study at all. I would argue, why should we set standards if we will not keep to them? I also say that since he will be a senior next year, he has the incentive of doing well to get to college. We saw you on the EWTN program 'Living His Life Abundantly.' We learned alot watching the program and reading your book on ADD. We would like your advice on whether he should be allowed to play football during the fall of 2008, or not.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and would appreciate any input you could give

Sharon

My 23 y/o son was placed on 140 mg of Vyvance after being detoxed from Adderall last September by a doctor in Florida who insisted that amount was fine. My 20 y/o daughter takes 50 mg of Vyvance. Are there any protocols for adults yet for this drug? My daughter has no problem with her dosage, but my son does not get the same effect as Adderall gave him. Unfortunately, we are afraid he will become addicted again. He needs daily assistance to take this drug for fear of overdosing. Do you have any other suggestions for medication? In the past, he has tried Ritalin, Concerta, Strattera, Focalin, Provigil. He also takes Effexor and Lamictal. He's bright, athletic, good looking, but doesn't believe us. His first two years of school, he Aced everything. Now, he has difficulty concentrating even with meds,exercise and the right nutrition because he is so anxious. Wish you could meet him...

Theresa

Dear Dr. Hallowell,
1.) What are your thoughts (or which of your books express your thoughts on how Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD are related yet different. How are treatments the same/different?
2.) Is the Corwin-Russell School suited for a child diagnosed with less affected AS with ADD components? Currently he is in 3rd Grade in a fully integrated public school.

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